Burnt Bagels
by craigifer
Summary: Sometimes it takes a breakdown to have a breakthrough. (Dedicated to Erica!)
1. Breakdown

**woah hey there**

**i actually finished a fic, like 100% finished!**

**aLL BECAUSE OF MY LOVE FOR ERICA this fic is dedicated to her because she's an amazing moirail and she wrote me some staig so i wrote her some back too and she's perfect ok**

**THIS STORY INCLUDES ALOT OF OUR PERSONAL HEADCANONS AND INSIDE JOKES OK JUST LETTING A BROTHA KNOW B)))**

**yeah ok i will shut up now and let you read the story. uwu**

* * *

I can't do this.

I can't keep waiting like this anymore.

I sat in the kitchen, staring at the front door of the apartment I shared with my boyfriend. He said he'd be home by 9PM today but it was already 12AM and he still wasn't home. Figured. We'd been dating for three years now, ever since we were both sixteen, and maybe that was a bit too long. Our relationship was nothing like how it was in the beginning, absolutely_ nothing _like how it was. Three years ago I wouldn't have been staying up this late waiting for him like a fucking puppy at the door. Three years ago I wouldn't have sent him a grand total of seventeen unreplied to text messages all within the same ten minutes just asking him where he was. Three years I ago I wouldn't be sitting here alone with a bottle of wine getting tears all over the kitchen table.

Three years ago... things were happy. We were a great couple, sure we had small problems, but it wasn't nothing that we wouldn't fix the next day with some sloppy make-up sex. We would be at eachother's houses all of the time, going on little gay dates to Olive Garden, buying eachother dumb little gifts. We even had a small little family of guinea pigs that we used to joke about and say were our kids. We still currently had those guinea pigs but we didn't swoon over them together like we used to. Now we would just feed them and go on with the rest of our day like they didn't even exist. I don't even recall the last time we called either one of those animals our son...

Everything went wrong when we moved in together. Yeah, it was nice seeing him almost everyday when we would visit eachother all of the time but didn't actually live together. We got breaks from eachother and didn't constantly worry where we were at. But once we were living together and being forced to see eachother all of the time, it got annoying. We found out about each of our stupid living habits, like the way I would often leave open every cabinet I opened in the kitchen and forget about it, which annoyed Craig because, for some reason, open cabinets really bothered him. Or how he would freak out about where his hat was every morning before he left for work even though I would constantly tell him that his hair looked fine without it. Little things like that would end up annoying the shit out of each of us until the point where we'd just stop talking to eachother for periods of times just to keep from lashing out on eachother about those dumb things.

And then the paranoia started. I never thought I'd be the really paranoid and jealous type but damn, I was wrong. We had problems in the past with Craig cheating on me with _someone-I-really-can't-stand-anymore-and-will-not- mention _and once we started living together I would often find myself stealing his phone and reading his texts with _that_ _person_ and get jealous. Then he'd get home really late (like today) and I'd get as paranoid as I am right now. I just didn't want to get cheated on, it was really the worst feeling in the world. Because one day Craig would tell me that he loved me and later on that same day he could be saying the same exact thing to someone else and maybe even start wanting that person more than me? Which I don't blame him for because, well, I was a horrible boyfriend. I wasn't the most attractive, or at least, I didn't think I was. I had an annoying voice that cracked all the time despite the fact that I was already nine-fucking-teen now. I was really bitchy 50% of the time and to top it all off I was an alcoholic. Even now I'm drinking wine. Shit.

Point is, things were horrible. We were barely talking again and I was back in that super paranoid state of mind. And I was 10000000% sure that Craig was cheating on me with that brunette asshole right fucking now. Thinking about it made more tears stream down my cheeks, which I sloppily wipped off with my sweater's sleeve. I just wanted him to come home... That's all I wanted...

Another hour passed and then finally the door opened. I quickly looked up, relieved to see Craig there. ...Wait. No, not relieved, actually pissed-the-fuck-off. What took him so long that he didn't get back until 1 in the morning?! I gave him a death stare, not even wanting to talk to him now.

"What. Took. You. So. Long?!" I spat out, looking away and back at my bottle of wine.

"Why are you drinking again?" Craig just made his way over to me and took the bottle away from me, tossing it into the trash. "I thought you were done with that..."

"I thought you were done cheating on me but look what happened!" I couldn't even believe this asshole's nerve right now.

"...Stan, I'm not cheating on you." Craig gave out an annoyed groan and rolled his eyes. His eyes were so fucking pretty, ugh, I just wanted to sTAB THEM.

"YES. YOU. ARE."

"Am not."

And here he was, lying to my fucking face again.

"Then where were you!? What took so much of you fucking time that you didn't get home until 1 in the goddamn morning, Craig?!"

"Clyde go-"

"SO YOU DID FUCKING CHEAT ON ME WITH CLYDE?!" I knew it! I knew it was that fUCKING BRUNETTE DIPSHIT AGAIN. It was always. fucking. him.

"...No. He got in a car accident and I had to drive him home." As if I'd believe that bullshit. I wasn't dumb.

"Okay, yeah, _suuure_. And so how come you aren't freaked out?! How come I don't see that asshole in your arms covered in blood?! Do you really think I'm stupid enough to believe that horrible lie, Craig?!"

"He just rear-ended someone. He wasn't hurt or anything, it really wasn't a big deal. But he was freaked out so I stayed with him for a little bit to comfort him. That was literally it, Stan."

"Whatever, it's all bullshit." I refused to believe any of that, it made no sense. He totally slept with him, I _know_ he did.

I needed to eat something to calm the fuck down so I just got up and angrily made my way over to the closest appliance, which happened to be the toaster. We had some bagels so I figured I'd just make one of those. I popped one into the toaster then turned my attention back to craig, who was now standing behind me and watching me.

"I think you should calm down, Stan... Maybe you drank too much?" He frowned and I just rolled my not-so-pretty eyes in response.

"I only drank like... uh... Fuck, whatever, who cares how much I drank?! It doesn't matter, either way you fucked Clyde behind my back."

"Oh my fucking god, I didn't cheat on you, jeez. Can you shut up about that? It's like all you ever think I do anymore is cheat, I told you I was done with that."

"And I told you I was done with drinking, but what did I do today?! Drink." And here we were, back at square one.

We stared at eachother with an equally annoyed look on our faces until I turned around because I smelt something burning.

"I think you burned your bagel." Craig said that as if it wasn't fucking obvious by that fact that the entire thing was crispy and black now.

"I know, I know! It's all your fucking fault, if you never would have came home this fucking late then I wouldn't have burned this bagel due to the fact that you annoyed the shit out of me! And guess what, that was the last bagel! No more bagels, Craig. You. made. me. burn. the. last. bagEL." I was just so frustrated, now we were arguing over fucking donut-shaped bread.

"Stan, we can buy more, don't wor-"

"No! Don't tell me not to worry, how can I not worry when you do this stuff to purposely worry me?! You come home late almost everyday, you always act so fucking distant from me as if I did something wrong, and then you lie right to my face! What else am I supposed to do but worry?! I just... UGHHH." I didn't want to be here anymore, I had to leave. I had to leave now.

I quickly stormed over to the front door, not even looking back to see Craig.

"I'm leaving, I would tell you not to worry, but you wouldn't care either way." And then that was it. I was gone. Gone like the fucking wind. #whoosh


	2. Breakthrough

Leaving the house at 1AM in Colorado was a horrible idea. Possibly the worst idea I've ever had. It was fucking freezing out and pretty much everything in sight was frosted over. But there was no way I was about to walk back inside this soon, I'd just look like a huge wuss if I did that.

I slowly made my way down the stairs and to the sidewalk. I had no clue where I was going or what I was even really doing but whatever. But the cold really was helping me cool off, literally. My ass was freezing and it only took second until I started shivering. You know how Gucci Mane goes 'burr' in majority of his songs? That was me today. Burr.

I only lasted about five minutes in the cold until I couldn't take it anymore. It sucked that I had to come back so soon but I'd rather be in the house with the guy I hated than be out here getting frostbite. It's not like Craig would really take notice to the fact that I was barely gone, he probably just went to sleep or something.

It was kind of creepy when I walked in the house and saw that I was completely wrong. Because there Craig was, standing right in the walkway staring at me with those pretty eyes that I still wanted to stab with the sharpest knife our kitchen could offer.

"You're back?" Craig raised a brow as I closed the door behind me.

"Shut up, it was too cold out..." I was in bad need of warmth so despite the fact that I was still mad at him, I made my way over to Craig and hugged him, sighing as I felt his body heat against mine. I closed my eyes and just stood there until he finally hugged me back, making it even warmer. It reminded me of how we used to hug back when things were still good. He'd hug me and then say-

"I love you."

I looked up at him from the hug and felt myself start to tear up. I wanted things to be back how they were, I didn't like being how I was with him now. It was horrible and yeah, maybe I was to blame for it all. I just wanted to take it all back...

"Why are we like this, Craig?... Why can't we be happy anymore?..." I sniffled a bit as tears came flowing down my cheeks all over again. Except this time instead of soaking the kitchen table I was now soaking Craig's shirt.

It took him a while but Craig finally answered.

"I cheated on you, Stan..."

I wasn't even surprised at this point, I could really care less. I already knew it was true, I knew I wasn't fucking crazy. Yet... I found myself crying more. I didn't know what to say back, I just kept crying.

"And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I lied and I'm sorry that I made you feel like shit all of those times and I'm sorry that I never stopped. I just... I don't know. I love you, I really do, but..."

"But what?..."

"But for some reason I couldn't stop? And then it got worse because I didn't even want to face you anymore because I felt even shittier afterwards. And then you'd go on and on about how I was cheating and I'd lie and tell you wasn't even though I still was and it just kept getting worse and worse... But, I'm done. I really am done this time, Stan."

There was no way he was done, that was like me saying I was done drinking now. But whatever, I was going to pretend he was actually going to stop just to make myself feel better.

"Yeah we-"

"No, listen." Craig then let go of me, getting down on one knee in the kind of was someone would if they were proposing to you, taking my hand and everything. Minus the proposal.

"I really am done. The real reason I took so long to get home tonight is because I had an argument with Clyde, okay? Because I finally told him that I couldn't do that shit anymore and he took it really bad. And we might not even be friends anymore, I don't know. But I sacrificied it all for you because you're the one I really love and you're the one I want to be with. Because I love you."

I couldn't believe the words that he was saying but it really did seem genuine. His voice was even softer, you could actually tell he had emotions for once. More tears ran down my now red cheeks as I looked away.

"You really do mean it?"

Craig kissed my hand gently like some sort of prince. It was all really weird and out of character of him but also really sweet. And I think I was falling for him again...

"I really do."

I got down and hugged Craig, unintentionally making both of us fall on the floor. I just kept hugging him, I didn't want to let go. He did the same, smiling ever so slightly. I may or may not have returned the smile.

We stayed down there for a while, just cuddling and not saying anything. But then we both realized that the floor wasn't the comfiest of places and decided to move into the bedroom. Craig carried me into the room and set me down on the bed like a princess and it was, once again, way out of character for him. Or maybe, it wasn't, and this was just the Craig that nobody ever got to see. Nobody but me...

It all came back to me again. We were so distant that I never noticed, but now I could remember. Craig _did_ have emotions. He did care about me and he did love me. He used to smile all the time, laugh all the time, and even say dumb little cute gay nothings to me. How could I forget, it was the Craig I fell for... It was dark in the room but when I reopened my eyes to see Craig I saw that smile I fell for again for the first time in an entire year.

And that was all it took.

That smile was all it took for me to fall for him again, to remember why I loved him in the first place. It was all it took for me to forgive him for all of that cheating stuff. It all didn't matter anymore because...

"Craig?"

"Yeah?"

...

...

"I love you too."


End file.
